Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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