my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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