can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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