Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
