I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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