im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
