Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
