hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
