Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
