I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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