i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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