I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize