the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
