I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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