Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
