chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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