you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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