There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize