He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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