Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
