Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
