I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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