Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
