Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize