Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
