Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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