So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
