But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
