Whod you bang
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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