it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
