Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
