I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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