I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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