I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
