This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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