sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Buhtt sex?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
