I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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