on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
