Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
