We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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