Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
