it was like his penis was on wheels.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
