I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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