he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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