no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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