id be glad to
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I am mentally ready for anal.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
