we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
