Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
