Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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