This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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