I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
