I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
