I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
