we have officially lost it.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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