It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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