I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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