u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
